


a beautiful accident (Dan Howell/Phil Lester)

by deansperrie



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Birth, BoyxBoy, F/F, F/M, Gay, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Mpreg, Post Mpreg, Smut, V sad in the beginning but it gets happy i swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-07-14 15:18:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansperrie/pseuds/deansperrie
Summary: "You don't understand Phil, and you never will," Dan says quietly, his voice trembling as he holds back a dam of tears."No, I understand completely," Phil responds, his voice full of rage and agony, "You left when the times got rough. You left me all alone with no explanation, and now you're back in town suddenly after a year of nothing! Why? Why did you come back?" Phil asks, his voice finally cracking under the pressure of his feelings.Dan stares at Phil, his heart audibly breaking as he realizes what he's put Phil through. He gulps, before deciding to break his secret he kept for so long, "Phil...I left you because I was pregnant."Phil blinks."What?"This is a mpreg, meaning this contains male pregnancy and male birth. If you do not like this content, then please do NOT read.Otherwise, please enjoy!This story can also be found on Wattpad under the user "igobyamymonroe"





	1. prologue - the months before

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read, please remember this is a MPREG. This also contains boy/boy sexual content. If that offends you, then please do not read this. This may contain some triggering content, and I will post a warning before the chapter if it happens.

Dan sits in his bathroom, a look of pure shock and fear on his facial features. In his hands, lies a slim white tube, with a tiny pink plus on it. He blinks, and a tear falls down his face. He can hear Phil shuffling around their flat, as Phil was getting ready to head to Louise's to film a video for her channel. 

"This can't be," He whispers, his heart tugging in his chest

For a few weeks now, Dan's been doing nothing but vomiting, and somehow still managing to gain weight, even though he can't keep any food down. Dan wasn't too worried, he just figured it was some type of stomach bug. Phil was worried, but Dan always downplayed it so Phil wouldn't freak out on him and force him to a hospital. 

Dan takes a deep breath, deciding what his next move is. He knows Phil would love to be a father, and the two have been together for 9 years, if you don't count the year 2012 where they decided to call it quits after Dan was having some internalized homophobia after Phil's fans started stalking him and his brother, Adrian, which completely destroyed their brotherly bond. 

(In this, Dan is not a huge YouTuber in this like in real life, he works with youth groups and underprivileged children and teens, specifically LGBT youth. His channel is basically one big Internet Support Group. I also want to note that this is the only time I will mention Adrian.)

But Dan also knows how badly this could destroy Phil's growing career, now that Phil is branching out to older audiences and moving away from the preteen audiences. Phil doesn't mentally need a baby right now, as Phil is planning to do touring, and expects Dan to be apart of that adventure. But Dan can't tour pregnant. Not physically. Nor emotionally. He's already insecure as is with his body, he can't imagine the torment internet trolls will give him when they see his belly. 

He feels his eyes well back up with tears, but he forces them back in, hides the test, and walks back into the bedroom to pretend nothing is wrong. 

 

~

 

"I'll be back later," Phil says, giving Dan a quick kiss

Dan holds him there longer, as he's made a choice that will destroy Phil, and he wants to remember Phil's happy face for the time-being. He watches as Phil leaves the flat, after a quick "I love you," and he feels his heart shatter. 

That's the last "I love you" he's ever going to hear again. 

Dan turns to walk into his bedroom, and packs up whatever he can. He does this with tears streaming down his face, as he's literally leaving his heart and soul behind. He thinks about how much Phil is going to hate him for this, how much he's going to hurt, how confused he's going to be when he comes back and most of Dan's stuff is gone. 

Dan decides to leave a few things behind, as he doesn't feel right taking them from Phil. These things range from gifts to photos to awards. He lets Phil have the original first-editions of their books, as it was Phil's idea in the first place to write them. He can always buy copies from the shop. He scans his old bedroom for the last time, before sitting on their bed and writing out a note that he knew would break his love's heart. 

"Dear Phil, 

By the time you're reading this, I will be gone. And I am so sorry that this has to happen.

I want you to know this has nothing to do with you. I haven't fallen out of love with you, or found someone else. Because I will always love you, and I can't imagine loving another. This is for your own good, for your career's sake, for your sake. 

I know you will hate me for leaving, and you have good reason too. I can't blame you for the vengeance you'll feel towards me. I just hope you know I'm not doing this to hurt you, although I know it will. I'm doing this because I love you and I care about you.

One day, I will return. When that day will be, I can't tell you. But you will be in my heart and I will always be thinking of you and checking on you. I love you, and although this is the end, I want to thank you for these amazing 10 years. You have no idea how much you truly mean to me, and you have no idea how much you've changed my life for the better. You are my world, and you will remain the sun. 

Maybe one day we can go to the way we were. And if not, that's okay. 

Sorry for the wet spots on the paper. 

With all the love in the world,

Bear." 

He wipes away his tears, grabs his bags, and rests the note on the bed, with Dan's key to the flat on it. He takes a deep breath, and walks out of his old life, and he doesn't know where to start his new life. 

 

~

 

Dan wished Phil was there for it all. 

The first kick, the first sonogram, the first heartbeat, the gender reveal, the first Braxton-Hick contraction, the first odd craving, for every monthly update. He wishes Phil experienced that with him. 

And it's his own fault that Phil couldn't be there.

After Dan left, he eventually had to change his number, because Phil wouldn't stop calling and texting. He deleted social media, and made his life as private as it could get. He'd still upload to YouTube, but all his videos were above the shoulders. He couldn't let Phil or the fans see his growing bump, where Dan and Phil's little girl rested. 

His mother was highly disappointed in him for leaving, but eventually came around to accept Dan's decision. His parents harbored him in their house for a few months, before Dan purchased his own one-bedroom apartment, a few hours out of London. His new home was cute, but he always felt that missing piece. 

But Dan especially wished Phil was there when his water broke on October 15th, 2018. The pain, oh the pain, that's all he could remember. Their baby came right on time, but Dan was still surprised when he went into labor. He delivered their daughter at a birthing center for males, and with the help of many amazing midwives who specialized in his condition, he pushed out a healthy little girl. It was a 32 hour endeavor, and finally, his daughter was born October 17th, at 3:31am. 

Rosalie Michelle weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces, and measured at 19 inches long. She came into the world screaming, but it was music to Dan's ears. She calmed as soon as the midwife that delivered her placed the baby on his chest, as she recognized her father's scent. 

After they cleaned her off, he finally got a good look at her. She had Phil's eyes, Dan's eye color, Phil's nose and mouth, Dan's dimples, and Dan's cheekbones. All-in-all, she was all Phil. And although he loved her more than himself, he was heartbroken. 

Dan raised Rosie alone, sometimes with the help of his mother, who came to watch her so Dan could get alone time. She wasn't a hard baby to raise, she really only cried when she needed too, and developed Dan's sleeping habits. 

To this day, Dan actively checks Phil's social media, to make sure his Lion was okay. And he knows he's not okay, but his fans don't need to know that. Phil puts up a very good facade for the fans, but Dan knows he's secretly struggling, from what fan's have said when they've met Phil. 

Dan plans to come back, but he doesn't know when.

But sometimes you never get that chance to decide.


	2. one - give me strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and his mother talk about contacting Phil, and Dan reveals some things his mother wished he would've told her earlier.

"Is that my pretty girl?" Dan coos as he enters his bedroom, heading straight towards the pink crib seated in the corner of the small room.

He hears Rosalie gurgle, and looks into the crib to see her just waking up, her tiny fist balled up in her mouth. His heart swells at his daughter's pure cuteness, carefully scooping her up and placing her against his shoulder, letting her settle into the crook of his neck. 

"How was she today?" Dan asks his mom, who's staring fondly at the two from his doorway

"She was fine. She's never fussy," She responds, "I know she missed her daddy though. I had to let her have one of your shirts to calm her." She gestures to his black Eclipse shirt, which is outstretched on the mattress. 

"Thank you for watching her. Today was a surprise shift," Dan inwardly groans as today was supposed to be his day off, and all he wanted to do was cuddle with his daughter and snooze, but the coffee shop he works out had other thoughts as someone called in. 

"Of course. Were they short-handed at the shop?" She asks, "There's lunch in the kitchen, by the way. I know you haven't eaten." 

"You didn't have too, I have Ramen," Dan laughs

"And that stuff is absolutely horrendous for you. And Rosie doesn't need to be ingesting that salt," Mom reprimands. Dan makes a mental note to pump tonight because he remembers the fridge being low on bottles.

"It's all I can afford with the rent and taking care of Rosalie," Dan admits

Dan's mom sighs, staring at Dan with sorrowful eyes, "Why don't you ever tell me you have money problems?" 

"I don't like being a problem. You already do enough for me by watching her whenever I work." 

"You're my son and that's my granddaughter. Your father and I are always here to help, whether it be financially or mentally. I'll talk to your father about helping you with money, he's worried about you as is. We both are." She admits, crossing her arms, "You need to tell Phil." 

Dan's eyes widen, "You know I can't do that." 

"Yes, you can. He's Rosalie's dad too. He deserves to know her and help you. You can't expect to do this all alone for the next eighteen years, do you?" She asks

"I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure Rosie is taken care of, and Phil's career isn't ruined by a baby he never wanted nor planned," Dan can feel his heart start to weep, and Rosalie senses his sudden mood shift, because she whimpers and grabs a hold of his shirt collar. He holds her tighter. 

Teresa just gives Dan a pitiful look, "And what happens when you need to move into a bigger flat and you can't afford it?" 

"Then I'll just get another job. I've already started saving up to move within the next month. I have enough for a down payment and the fees. I'll just need to work some extra shifts at Betty's and I'll be able to afford first months rent," Dan pleas

"Your dad and I will cover first months rent. If you move back to London, near Phil." 

"Mom..." Dan starts

"No. Rosalie isn't even two months old and you've been doing nothing but struggling. Don't act like we don't see it. We see those bags under your eyes, we know you aren't eating properly. Rosalie needs you alive and well. Not falling apart and clinging to life. I need you alive." He hears Teresa's voice break

Dan sits on his bed, admitting his defeat, "Fine, Barbara gave me the day off since I came in today, so tomorrow do you want to help me find some flats?" He asks

Teresa smiles with tearful eyes, "Of course." 

 

~

 

"The rent here is $1200 a month, and water and trash is included. But since you have a little one, I can lower the rent to $1000, if that'll help you any," The landlady promises, her eyes fixated on Rosalie

Dan looks at his mom for approval, and she shrugs, "Do you promise this is a safe neighborhood? I don't want my son and granddaughter to move somewhere that can put them in danger." Teresa presses

"There's been no reported crime, and we do have security guards that patrol the area at night. This is mostly a family neighborhood." The landlady answers, "And if you ever have any issues, all you have to do is give the front office a call and they'll get it fixed." 

"Can we have a moment?" Teresa asks, ready to pull Dan away to discuss further

"Of course, I'll be outside. Take your time," The landlady smiles, and heads out the door as requested. 

Teresa turns to Dan, who's looking around the place in wonder, "It is pretty nice here," Dan notes

"It is nice, but can you afford it?" 

Dan ponders for a moment, calculating his weekly paychecks and adding them up to the rent, "I think I could. I just hope I don't lose my job," Dan jokes

Teresa purses her lips, "You know damn well Betty and Barbara would never do that to you. They adore you," 

"I think I want this place." Dan admits, "It's got an extra room, and I can finally create that Winnie the Pooh nursery I've always wanted to do for her. I'll take the smaller bedroom, she has more stuff." 

"Then let's go sign the papers to move you in," Teresa smiles

 

~

 

Dan moves into his new house two weeks later, and with the help of his dad and brother, his new home is situated. Dan goes to work 6 days a week, and when he gets off, he takes care of Rosalie and starts creating her nursery. Thankfully at his baby shower his family gave him a lot of Winnie the Pooh themed decor, and that only meant he had to buy a few more things. 

Dan painted the walls yellow, and the trim a brown. He paints the windowsill and window panels red. He places the crib against the wall closest to the door, away from the window, so the light wouldn't be in Rosalie's eyes. He puts together a old wooden rocking chair his grandma gave him, and sits it beside the crib. 

He places the changing table his aunt bought him on the opposite wall, and the three-drawer cabinet he bought from Babies R' Us beside the changing table, filling it with baby wipes, diapers, diaper rash creams, baby powder, and extra blankets for the table itself. The baby dresser goes beside the crib, and he fills that with Rosie's clothing, blankets, shoes, hats, and bows. 

He buys a big Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal, and places it in the corner of the room, and sets his Piglet stuffie from when he was a child inside the crib, away from Rosalie's grip. He changes the bedsheets in the crib to Winnie the Pooh ones, and places the handmade quilt from his great-grandma on the bars of the crib.

Dan's mum helps him put pictures on the walls, and she buys him a nice rug to put in the middle of the room, and it finally ties the room together. Dan stands proudly with Rosalie in his arms, letting her take in her new bedroom. 

"This is our new home, baby," He tells her quietly, moving her around the room so she can survey it all at once. 

Rosalie yawns, signalling it was finally bedtime, and with a kiss to her forehead, he lays her in the crib, turns on the baby monitors, and heads to bed himself. 

 

~

 

This the first official chapter! 

I don't really know if anyone is reading, but I haven't written since 2016 and man does it feel good to be back. I got a new job today so I'm in a very good mood! I hope you guys, whoever is even reading this, is enjoying this just as much as I am.

Peace, love, and cats,

Morgan ♥


	3. two - if you only knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil finds out some information, and Dan has to live with this discovery.

After almost a year of silence, Dan finally sees Phil break the news to his fans. It happened after a spiral of tweets asking about Dan finally got to Phil, and he cracked. Phil had typed out a letter, and posted it to his social media. 

"Hi guys,

I know a lot of you have been asking where Dan has been, and I'm finally ready to explain. 

Dan left me a year ago without a warning. I went to go film a video, and he was packed up and gone by the time I got back that same night. Dan left me a note, and it explained he wasn't leaving me for another man, and that he still loved me.

I believe that he wasn't cheating on me, but I truly don't believe he loved me when he left me. If he loved me, he would've stayed and explained to me the reason he wanted to leave. If he truly wanted to leave me, and explained, I would have let him go. Because Dan's happiness was my happiness. And I would've died for that boy.

Dan and I were together for almost 10 years, and I was planning to marry him before he left. He didn't know that, but I'm sure he'll be reading this, and he will find out now. I had the ring picked out and ready to go. I was going to marry you Dan. Was that why you left? You got tired of waiting for marriage? 

I'll never know why he truly left, because I haven't heard from him in a year. And although I want to know why, I don't think I could ever bear seeing him again. No matter how much I want him back. 

Please, if you do see him in person or on social media, if he chooses to come back, please do not send him any hate or mistreatment. He is still the love of my life, and I wish him no harm. I can't forgive him for leaving, but I won't let him be bullied. 

Thanks guys. 

Phil." 

Dan is in tears by the end of the letter, his choked sobs echoing through his house. He can hear Rosalie crying in her room, but he can't move. He's stuck on his kitchen floor, his face dug into his hands as he lets out his screams. 

"I don't think I could ever bear to see him again." 

"I can't forgive him." 

Phil truly hates Dan. He just knows it. 

He can never tell him about Rosalie now. 

 

~ 

 

Phil doesn't hate Dan. 

Phil still loves him with every fiber of his being, and he wants nothing but to see Dan again. But he knows how much heartache it will bring, and how unlikely that is to ever happen again. Dan is gone, long gone, and there's nothing he can do about it. 

Except contact Teresa. 

With a sniffle, he takes out his phone, and dials her number, hoping she hadn't changed hers too. He listens to the dial tone, waiting, hoping, she'll pick up. 

"Phil?" Her voice says cooly through the phone

"Hi Teresa." Phil chokes on his words

"How are you, Phil?" She asks him, her voice soothing.

"I'm not okay. I need to see Dan. I miss him." He cries, the dam of tears in his eyes breaking. 

Teresa sighs heavily, "He doesn't want you to see him. He believes you hate him after you posted that letter," She scolds

"No, I could never. I just need to know why. Was it me?" He sobs

"No Phil, it was far from you. This was something bigger than the both of you." Teresa gulps, "Dan's going to hate me for this." 

"What?" Phil asks confusedly

"Dan is living near you. About a mile from your flat. He's living in a nice neighborhood, and he owns a house." Teresa admits

"What? Are you serious?" Phil asks astoundingly 

"I was never supposed to tell you. But my boy is struggling. He needs you, whether he wants to bloody admit it or not. He's always been stubborn," Teresa laughs quietly

"Where is he?" 

 

~

 

There he is. 

Phil can see Dan walking towards his house from across the street. Dan looks the same, except visibly slimmer and he looks more depressed than ever. His clothes barely fit him. Phil wants nothing but to hold him at this very moment, but he needs to stay undercover for the time-being. 

Dan stops in front of his door, and looks around, almost surveying protectively. Dan unlocks his door and disappears inside, turning on his porch light as its getting dark. Phil slowly gets out of his car, and makes his way across the deserted street, until he ends up on Dan's doorstep. 

With a deep breath, he raises his hand to knock on the wood door. After two knocks, he waits. He hears shuffling on the other side, and the sound of a hand wrapping around the doorhandle, before the door itself is opened, and Dan is revealed on the other side.

Dan's looking at the ground at first, but as soon as his eyes land on Phil, his skin pales and he gasps in shock. Dan stares at Phil, his Phil, who's looking at him with tears in his eyes. Phil all but attacks Dan, wrapping him in his arms and sobbing. 

Dan wraps himself around Phil, letting his own tears fall, before asking, "How did you find me?"

"Your mother told me." Phil hiccups, pulling away, a stone-cold look on his face. 

He mentally curses at his mother for breaking his cover, before looking back at Phil, taken aback by his facial expression, "Why are you here?" Dan asks quietly, fear evident in his voice. 

"I came to get the truth from you." Phil admits, "You have so much explaining to do," 

Dan leads Phil into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him and hoping to God Phil doesn't get curious about the baby monitor sitting on his nightstand. Phil stands stiffly in the corner of his room, while Dan takes a seat on the edge of his bed, looking at his hands. 

"How could you?" Phil starts, his voice filled with anger, "How could you do something like this to me? Was I not fucking enough? I did everything for you, I thought everything was fucking okay!" Phil yells

Dan mentally prays that Phil's screaming doesn't wake up Rosalie, "Please don't yell. Everything was okay between us, but something wasn't okay with me. You were always enough, you were everything," Dan responds, voice thick with guilt

"What the fuck do you mean something wasn't okay with you?" Phil yells, and Dan knows he's angry from his cursing.

"You don't understand Phil, and you never will," Dan says quietly, his voice trembling as he holds back a dam of tears.

"No, I understand completely," Phil responds, his voice full of rage and agony, "You left when the times got rough. You left me all alone with no explanation, and now you're back in town suddenly after a year of nothing! Why? Why did you come back?" Phil asks, his voice finally cracking under the pressure of his feelings.

Dan stares at Phil, his heart audibly breaking as he realizes what he's put Phil through. He gulps, before deciding to break his secret he kept for so long, "Phil...I left you because I was pregnant."

Phil blinks.

"What?" 

"I was pregnant, Phil." Dan repeats, looking Phil in the eyes, "The day you left for Louise's I took a pregnancy test, and we were expecting." 

Phil takes a step back, hitting the wall, and slipping to the ground. He stares at Dan in shock and confusion, and hurt. So much hurt.

"But...how?" Phil asks

"I'm a carrier, I've always been one. I have a uterus and ovaries, basically everything a woman has, minus the obvious sexual organ. I can conceive, carry, and deliver babies," Dan explains, watching Phil's facial expressions change

"You mean to tell me...I'm a father?" 

"Yes, Phil, you're a dad." 

Suddenly Phil is angry again, and he has every right to be, "You kept my child away from me!" 

"Not purposely. I just figured it would be better for your career if I left, because you couldn't handle a baby. Not with your growing career, and I didn't want to be the reason you left behind YouTube." 

"How could you possibly think that? I've always wanted children, Dan. I would've been perfectly okay with having a baby with you, and if I knew you were a carrier, we would've had children years ago." Phil sighs

Dan feels himself shut down, and he's overcome with sobs. He realizes he's having a panic attack, his breath heavy and quick, and he collapses onto the ground in front of him, shaking and sobbing. He can see Phil's blurry figure hover over him, and he can feel his arms around Dan, taking him into his arms. He hears Phil's coos, and can feel himself being rocked back and forth. 

"You-you can h-hate me, but p-please don't h-hate our d-daughter," Dan stutters brokenly, pleading

"Daughter?" Phil says, his eyes filling with happiness.

"We have a daughter, Phil. And she looks just like you," Dan says, a smile on his face as he thinks of his little girl, tears streaming down his face. 

"What's her name, Dan?" Phil asks

"I named her Rosalie Michelle. Michelle is my way of naming her after you, since your middle name is Michael," Dan admits quietly, his cheeks turning rosy pink.

"That's a beautiful name, Dan." Phil is crying tears of joy at his point, and he hugs Dan again, and he can feel Dan let himself get comfortable in his arms, "I understand why you did what you did, and I'm not mad," 

Dan's about to speak, before a shrill sob is heard throughout the house. Phil's head perks up at the sound, and Dan smiles. With Phil's hand in his, he takes Phil across the hallway, where Rosalie's sobbing is heard loudly through the wood. Dan opens the door, and Phil makes a beeline to the crib. 

"Oh my god," Phil gasps, taking in the sight of his daughter. 

"Pick her up," Dan says, sitting in the rocking chair adjacent to the crib. 

"I'm gonna break her," Phil says sadly

"No you won't, Phil. Just pick her up, and support her head," Dan coos. 

Phil slowly reaches into the crib, his hands tucking underneath Rosie's bum and head, lifting her up into his arms. He chokes back a sob as he gets a good look at her, and sees mostly his features, minus the eye color and dimples. He looks back over at Dan, who's looking at the two fondly. 

"She's so beautiful, Dan. We did good," Phil laughs, mostly to himself.

"She's a good baby. Very quiet. Kinda like you," Dan speaks quietly, as Rosalie has fallen asleep in Phil's arms. 

"I noticed," Phil says, cooing at his daughter, "Dan, are you okay? You know, after the birth and all?" 

"I'm fine. Birth is never fun, regardless. It was pretty easy, she was ready to get out of me." Dan laughs

"How did you deliver her?" Phil asks sheepishly

"Anally, Phil." Dan laughs

"You can do that?" Phil asks incredulously

"Yes, Phil, carriers can. I have a birth canal."

"Did it hurt?" 

"Of course it bloody hurt. Her head hurt the worst. It was a literal ring of fire. But overall, she was small and wasn't too hard to get out. I'm glad she was only 7 pounds and not anything bigger."

Phil takes mental notes, before settling Rosalie back into her crib. He walks out of the nursery, Dan hot on his tracks. He heads into Dan's living room, taking a breath, "Please let me be there for my daughter," 

"Of course. Now I can't deny her. You can have her whenever you want," Dan responds, crossing his arms over his chest

"No Dan, I want to come here. With you two. As a family," Phil disagrees

"But it's only a two bedroom house," Dan says 

"Then I guess we'll just have to share like old times." 

"Does that mean...?" Dan drags off

"I don't think we can do a relationship right now, but we can be friends and parents at the same time," Phil admits

Phil can see Dan's face turn into a cloud of sadness, "That's good enough for me." 

"I still love you Dan," Phil says

"I love you too,"


	4. three - i was never gone

"So when should I move in?" Phil asks quietly, Rosalie asleep on his bare chest. Dan recommended the two get Kangaroo time, which is skin-to-skin contact so the baby can get used to the parents scent. 

"Whenever you want. The room is big enough to fit another dresser and your computer setup." Dan replies, standing in front of the stove as he's making lunch for the two.

"Are you available this weekend?" 

"I'm working, but my mom has a key and I'm sure my dad can help you," Dan says, stirring the pot of tomato soup as the grilled cheese cook in the toasteroven.

"You have a job?" Phil asks, almost fondly

"Yeah, I work at Betty's Coffee Shop in town. Got hired there a few weeks before Rosalie was born. Betty had to force me to take maternity leave, because I wanted to come back and work a week after I gave birth. I needed the hours and the money," Dan explains

Dan can hear Phil sigh heavily, before he hears Phil's heavy footsteps go into the kitchen. Dan turns around, smiling fondly at his daughter, who's asleep and drooling all over Phil's chest, "She's drooling on you," Dan points out 

Phil shrugs, "Better get used to baby fluids on me," 

"Also true, she likes to throw up," 

"Dan, you knew you could've always asked me for money or help. I would have been there." Phil speaks, his voice waivering

Dan stops for a second, staring in the pot of red liquid, "I didn't want to burden you. Raising a baby is really bloody expensive. That crib itself was over 2000." Dan says, exasperated 

"I could've afforded that, you know I have the money." Phil counters, "And stop calling yourself a burden. It's my fault you even got pregnant, so if anything, I was the burden,"

Dan turns around with a start, glaring, "Did you just say having her was a burden?" 

"No Dan, that's not what I was saying. I was saying it's my responsibility to take care of the baby I made," Phil sighs

"She was my responsibility too, I was the one who knew I was a carrier and didn't realize we weren't using protection," Dan groans

"She could've been my responsibility, too, had you let me," Phil mumbles

"Are you going to hold that over my head forever?" Dan almost yells, but remembers his sleeping daughter is in the room. 

Dan can feel the heat of Phil's eyes burning in his back, and he turns around after turning the stovetop off, so the soup doesn't burn. Phil is looking at Dan sadly, almost regretful of what he just said to Dan.

"No Dan, I'm not. I'm sorry, that was petty of me." Phil apologizes

Dan shakes his head, "Don't, you have the right to be mad at me. I just hope it doesn't last forever," Dan drifts off 

"It won't, I promise. She's only two months old, I haven't missed a whole bunch. I'll still be there for her first words and get to see her walk for the first time," Phil says dreamily, his eyes resting on the top of Rosalie's head. He plants a kiss there, and Dan can't help but feel tears well up in his eyes. 

Dan really could've made Phil miss all of that had his mother not told Phil where he was. And Dan felt terrible, because he can literally see the love Phil feels for their daughter in the room, and he suddenly breaks down into tears. 

"Dan?" Phil asks worriedly, going to lay Rosalie down in her crib before rushing back to hug Dan, "Why are you crying, Dan?" 

"Because you missed her birth and you've already missed so much more than you think and I'm a terrible human being and a terrible father and I'm so sorry. She'd be better off with you!" Dan sobs, his voice raising a few octaves as he cries harder. 

Phil freezes, and squeezes Dan tighter, "Don't you ever, ever say you are a terrible father. You've done so much for her already all alone. You've provided her a home and a safe place to sleep. You made sure she was okay when you were carrying her, and you made sure she was okay coming out. Rosalie deserves you as a dad, and one day, you will realize that," Phil speaks, and he means every word. 

Phil is honestly in shock of Dan. The fact that Dan was able to carry a baby, deliver that baby, and take care of the baby, basically all alone, is something Phil could never do personally. Phil couldn't imagine raising a baby alone, and he now sees Dan as someone stronger than before. He's proud of Dan. 

Dan's crying even harder at Phil's words, and he tightens his grip on Phil's back, "You have no idea how hard it was to do it. There was so many times I wanted to call you and ask for help, but I never brought myself to do so," Dan admits sadly, almost admitting failure

"You still had my number?" Phil asks

"Of course I did, you dingdong. I never deleted my old contacts when I changed my number. I just had them transferred over to the new phone plan."

The two hold each other a bit, before Rosalie's starting crying, and Phil pulls away to go comfort her. Dan turns back to the food, plates it, and wipes away his tears. Dan would never let go of the guilt of hiding Rosie from Phil, but at least Phil was here now. 

Dan takes out his phone, and dials his mum's number, as he hadn't spoken to her since Phil showed up. 

"Hi Dan," Teresa says 

"Hi mum," 

"Are you upset with me?" She asks

"No, I'm not." Dan says truthfully

"Is everything okay?" She asks, and he knows what she's implying

"Everything is okay, Phil's going to move in to help take care of Rosalie. But we aren't back together, if that's what you're asking," Dan says, almost sadly 

"Is that what you want?" 

"Of course it's what I wanted, but I understand why Phil can't trust me, and right now, all that matters is he's willing to raise Rosalie." Dan sighs heavily 

"Well, I'm happy about that too. I knew he wouldn't just leave if he found out he was a father. Does Phil need any help moving in? When is he moving in?" She asks

"He wants to do it this weekend, but I'm working a double Saturday, so do you know if Dad can help Phil?" He asks hopefully

Dan hears his mom muttering to his dad, before she responds, "He'll help, and he'll get a UHaul to help carry the bigger furniture." 

"I'll let Phil know. I can see if Betty will let me have a longer break to help out, but I don't know," Dan shrugs to himself

"We can figure it out. Maybe Phil can bring some of his furniture since your house is so barren," Teresa laughs 

"Oh hush, furniture is expensive," 

"Wait, where is Phil sleeping?" She asks suddenly

"In my room, we're just going to share because there isn't a spare room," Dan responds, leaning against the counter 

"Isn't that going to be a little odd?" She asks

"No, we slept in the same bed before we became a couple, it's nothing to us." 

"Alright, well, we're going to head out for dinner, so I'll call you later," 

"Bye mum," 

She says her goodbye, and the line goes dead. Dan signs, placing his phone back in his pocket, going to walk into the living room when he sees Phil leaning against the doorframe, clearly eavesdropping on his conversation.

"Did you really want to get back together?" Phil asks quietly

Dan blinks, almost awestruck, "Of course I did. I still love you, but I understand why we can't be together again. I'll take friendship as long as you're here for Rosie," Dan admits

"I'd be here for her regardless if I hated you or not, but I don't. And you know I love you, but we need to take things slow." Phil responds, reaching out for Dan, "We're okay, and one day, everything will go back to normal." Phil promises

Dan nods, before changing the subject, "Lunch is ready, go grab however much you want. I'm gonna go check on Rosie," 

"But she's okay?" Phil questions

Dan ignores him, as he can't look at the boy at this point. He heads into Rosalie's room, seeing her kicking her legs and staring at her Winnie the Pooh mobile, entranced by the music it was playing. Her eyes drift over to Dan, and she smiles toothlessly at him. 

"Hi baby," Dan says sadly, picking her up and sitting on the rocking chair, resting her in his arms. He looks down at her and gives her his finger, and she slowly tries to wrap her fist around his finger, which was thicker than her fist. He smiles at her, knowing she was trying. 

"Daddy's already so proud of you, honey. You can already grip my finger without help," Dan coos 

When Rosalie was first born, she had trouble controlling her hands, and had issues gripping. Dan was afraid she was paraplegic of some sort, but turns out she was just a little bit weaker than other babies. According to the doctor. But his baby wasn't weak, she was just learning slower. 

"I wish your dad and I could be back together, y'know? I want you to experience a healthy relationship, so that you know what's wrong and right when you eventually find your love. You're still not allowed to date any girls or boys until you're 30, but whatever. I want you to have parents that have a good relationship, so you can flourish. That's all I ever want, is for you to grow and prosper. That's all I could ever ask for you, baby," He tells her, although he knows she can't respond, and probably doesn't have a clue what he's saying. But he persists. 

"I know Dad loves me, and I know he loves you. He loves you so much, and although he's only known you a short while, you've become his world, just as you're mine. You just have that magic about you. You've got everyone wrapped around your little fingers," He confides, and unbeknownst to him, Phil's watching the two interact from the doorway, staying quiet so he doesn't startle them. 

"Daddy just wants you to know you will always be loved until my last dying breath. You'll always have Dad and I, and maybe one day you'll have a sibling to be with. And one day, I'll let you go out in the world on your own, hoping one day you'll need me again," Dan's getting choked up on tears, thinking about Rosalie one day moving out and not needing Dan anymore. 

Rosalie's gone to sleep now, lulled by Dan's voice. He laughs, laying her back down in her crib, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "Sleep well, lovebug," 

"That was honestly beautiful to listen to," Phil says, breaking his silence.

Dan jumps, whipping around to see Phil staring at him with loving eyes, the eyes he used to give him when they were together. Dan doesn't know what came over him, but he ends up wrapped up in Phil's arms, their lips pressed together in a feverish kiss. 

So much for waiting.


	5. four - i'm getting used to you

Phil was officially moved into Dan's home, and was left on his own free will while Dan was working at Betty's. Phil took the alone time opportunity to walk around Dan's house, which was honestly barren, but Phil understood why. Dan put all his effort into Rosalie's room, he really didn't care about the rest of the house. 

Phil had brought his couches, ottomans, end tables, dining table, chairs, TV's and TV stands, his millions of movies, his gaming consoles, and a few dressers, including Dan's old one. The only things he got rid of was his mattress, because Dan had purchased a newer one, and some old furniture that wouldn't have survived the move. 

Dan's living room wasn't very small, it was a decent size, so he had placed the couches in the middle of the room, placing his 64" flat screen and TV stand in front of the couches, against the wall. He put two end tables alongside the couch and loveseat, and placed the ottoman in front of the couch. He bought a rug so the couches wouldn't damage the flooring. 

Of course Phil had to put a big house plant in the corner of the room, near the window, so it could get sunlight. Not to mention his collection of cacti and smaller plants. 

The living room looked much more welcoming now, and he moved to the kitchen. The kitchen was small, but not too small, and the dining room was connected to it, as well as the living room. It was one big space. Dan had some plates and kitchen stuff, but Phil brought more pots and pans and silverware to help out. Phil had brought over his cooking books and baking recipes, along with some decor to go in the kitchen. Phil also brought his dining table and chairs, and put it in the middle of the dining room, atop a large black rug. In the middle of the table sat a bowl of fruit, and a candle. He put placemats in front of every chair, with plates, forks, spoons, and knives on top. 

Phil felt very proud of himself, and he had hoped Dan liked the changes. Dan was a big fan of extravagant decor, and loved homey stuff, so Phil secretly knew Dan would love what he did with the house. 

Now that the kitchen, dining, and living room were finished, he walked into Dan's bedroom, and stared at the mess. Dan had his clothes laid out everywhere, so Phil picked them up, placed them in a hamper, and threw them into the washing machine. After Phil returned to Dan's room, he put away some books and movies, and threw away some bottles and paper plates that sat on Dan's nightstand. He made the bed, putting the pillows in their respective places, and started putting his own clothes into the dressers. 

Dan had two more hours left of his shift, so Phil decided to cook them dinner, but first, he went to see Rosalie, who was napping at the time. Phil was quiet, and took the time to take in her sleeping face. She truly was adorable, with her chubby cheeks and tummy. She had a look of pure relaxation on her face, and he recognized it as the same face Dan makes when he sleeps. 

Dan and Phil hadn't slept in the same bed yet, because Phil would go home at night and pack up his apartment. Tonight would be the first night they slept in the same bed in a year. And to be honest, he felt nervous. He didn't want Dan to feel like Phil only came back to get back with Dan. That wasn't the whole truth. 

Of course Phil wanted to be with Dan again. He missed the brown haired boy, and of course he still loved him, but Phil was still hurt. He was still hurt that Dan left in the first place, instead of just coming clean and telling Phil they were going to be parents. Although it wasn't planned, Phil would've been thrilled. And he wasn't mad at Dan, but Phil missed his daughters birth, her first kick, and her heartbeat. He knows Dan didn't do this to hurt him, he was truly protecting him, but Phil was still sad. 

Phil shakes out of his thoughts, realizing he had been staring at Rosalie for over thirty minutes, and left the room. He went into the kitchen and started cooking dinner, which included chicken parmigiana, spaghetti, and a side salad. Phil knew Dan wasn't drinking alcohol as he was pumping, so he skipped wine. 

 

~

 

Phil hears the front door unlock, and it was perfect timing as he was plating the food. He hears Dan walk in and drop his keys on the side table beside the door, and Dan gasps loudly. Phil smiles to himself and walks out of the kitchen, looking at Dan from the doorway. 

"Did you do all this?" Dan asks

"Yeah, I brought my old furniture and decided to make this more of a home." Phil admits

"It looks great, Phil, it really does. Thank you," Dan says, and Phil smiles even wider in pride. Dan looks towards Phil in curiosity, "Did you cook?" 

"I did, dinners on the table," 

"You didn't have too..." Dan trails off, "I'm gonna wash up real quick and change out of my uniform," Dan says, disappearing down the hall and into his bedroom.

Dan sits on his bed with a heavy gasp, feelings overwhelmed. Phil was already becoming domestic, and Dan was so ecstatic. They were a step closer to being together again, and although nothing else has happened since the kiss, he hopes that changes. 

Dan changes into pajamas, and washes the sweat off his face. His feet are aching, but Phil made dinner, and he was starving. Dan padded back into the kitchen, seeing Phil already seated at the table. On his plate was a piece of chicken smothered in tomato sauce, spaghetti underneath, and a salad. Phil's placed a can of soda beside the plate as well.

"Phil this looks literally amazing," Dan compliments

Dan digs in, as well as Phil, and Dan tells him about his crazy day at work, and Phil listens with a fond smile. 

 

~

 

"Thank you," Dan tells Phil after they've finished eating, placing a kiss on Phil's cheek. He sees the blood rush to Phil's face, and he smirks, "I still have that effect on you, don't I?" 

"Of course you do," Phil responds back

"I'm going to head to bed, are you joining?" Dan asks, yawning widely 

"Yeah, I'll clean the dishes tomorrow," 

"Already such a housewife," Dan teases

"Oh shut it," Phil laughs 

The two make their way to their bedroom, and Dan watches as Phil strips down to his boxers as normal, and Dan suddenly feels very self-conscious. Although Dan had lost a lot of weight, he still had the pouch of fat from when he was pregnant, and he hated it. He especially didn't want Phil to see it, as it was so unattractive.

Phil notices Dan's conflicted look, and the way his arms are wrapped around his stomach. Phil knows what's going on, and he walks towards Dan, placing his fingers underneath Dan's shirt. Dan looks at Phil in fear, "What's wrong?" 

"I'm fat, and I don't want you to see it." Dan admits quietly, "I haven't lost all the baby weight," 

"And?" Phil asks, before he slowly tugs off Dan's shirt, Dan avoiding his eyes. Phil looks at Dan, and shakes his head, "You're still as beautiful as you were before," 

Dan doesn't look at Phil, but he smiles. The two get into bed, and stay on their opposite sides, wide-awake and conflicted. Phil's the one to break the first move, turning around and putting his body flush to Dan, stomach pressed to back. Dan instantly relaxes, and Phil nuzzles his face into Dan's shoulder. 

The two fall asleep wrapped in each others arms, their hearts filled with nothing but content.


	6. five - sos

"Phil, have you told your parents?" Dan asks one day as the two are sitting on the couch, watching Tarzan as Rosalie lays on a blanket on the living room floor. 

Phil chokes on his drink, "Oh shi-shoot," He corrects himself as there's an infant in the room, "No, I haven't. I guess I've just been too caught up with taking care of her and moving in, I forgot," 

"You mean...you let telling your parents you're a father slip your mind?" Dan asks, a laugh escaping his lips

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying," Phil replies, "How should we tell them? She doesn't even know I found you," 

Dan ponders for a second, his leg tapping, his hands curled around his knees. Phil watches as Dan's face thinks, looking at the way his brow furrows and unfurrows, how his lips quirk to the side in thought. He looks beautiful, as always, Phil thinks. 

"How far away do they live?" Dan asks after a minute of quiet

"Probably thirty minutes at the most, depending on London traffic," Phil says, doing the mental math in his head. 

"Well, you can either tell them over the phone, or you can only tell them you found me, invite them over for dinner, and then we can surprise them with Rosie?" 

"Dan, I don't want to give my mum a heart attack. I'll invite them over for dinner to meet her, and see you, but I'm going to warn her we have to talk about something serious and to stay open-minded." Phil laughs

"Alright. I'm gonna go feed Rosie, it's getting close to her feeding time anyway. You call Jackie, and I'll be in the nursery," Dan says, getting up and picking up Rosalie, who he immediately coos and smiles at, "Hi baby! Are you hungry?" He asks, his voice going smooth

Rosalie only blows a bubble as a response, but it was good enough for Dan, as the two disappeared down the hall and into her room. After the door clicks shut, Phil shovels out his phone from his back pocket and dials his Mum's number. 

"Hiya Phil!" Her voice says after the second dial tone  
"Hi Mum."

"How are you?" 

"I'm good, but I have some news," He starts 

"Go ahead, love," 

"I found Dan." He blurts

"...What?" She asks quietly, "As in your Dan?" 

"Yes, my Dan. I found him, and we're living together again," 

"Oh Phil, that's great! What happened to him? Did he have a good explanation?" She asks, curious, not malicious

"He did, and that's why I'm calling. Are you and Dad free for dinner tonight for dinner at Dan's?" He asks

"Dan's? You moved out of your flat?" 

"Yeah, I did about a week ago. Dan has a house in London, it's really cute. I kept most of my furniture, I barely lost anything in the move," 

"Okay then," She says questioningly, "Yes, we're free. What's the occasion?" She asks

"You'll find out when you get here. But please be open-minded, and prepared," 

"Honey, you're scaring me," She says, her voice laced with worry 

"Don't be, it's a good thing," 

After a few more minutes of small talk, the two say their goodbyes, and Phil heads to the nursery, where he finds Dan feeding Rosalie, who looks up at him. 

"What did she say?" Dan asks 

"They'll be over tonight," 

"Do we have all the ingredients for lobster ravioli?" Dan asks

"For what? What are you, a chef now?" Phil giggles

Dan smiles sheepishly, "I learned how to cook more exquisite things when I lived with my parents while I was pregnant," Dan admits 

"I'm going to say no, because I don't know anything about lobster ravioli, but if you tell me what's in it, I'll go to the shop and get it." 

"That works for me," 

 

~~

 

As Dan makes dinner, Phil cleans up the house from Rosalie's blankets and toys, making sure to hide everything in the nursery, all while straightening out the nursery. Rosalie was fast asleep in her crib, which meant she'd probably be alert and awake by the time Phil's parents meet her. 

"Phil! Come taste this sauce!" Dan calls from the kitchen

Phil makes his way into the kitchen, observing Dan standing in front of the stove, mixing a big pot of something, "What is it?" 

"It's a pesto cream sauce. Try it," Dan explains, grabbing a spoon and putting a bit of sauce onto the metal. 

Phil lets Dan feed him the spoon, Dan closely watching Phil's facial expressions, feeling absolutely delighted when Phil's face broke out into a grin, "That is amazing!" 

"You should try it on top of the ravioli," Dan laughs 

"When did you go and become so domestically smart?" Phil jokes

"Had to grow up to be a father. Figured I could make healthier foods instead of letting her live off Ramen and cereal," Dan shrugs, turning back to the pot of pesto

"Can I ask you something?" 

"You just did," Dan playfully sasses, "Yes, you can." 

"How did you manage to afford all of this?" Phil asks 

"I worked while I was pregnant up until the day before I gave birth, saved up, and had some help from my parents. I didn't want to ask my parents for money as they had done enough for Rosie and I, but they insisted, because I didn't want to reach out to you," Dan sighs 

"I understand. I'm proud of you, Dan." 

Dan looks back at Phil quizzically, "For what?" 

"Dan, I know this wasn't an easy change for you. I don't think I could've done it myself. And that makes you much more amazing than me, and I'm proud of you for making sure Rosalie had a good life, with or without me in it," 

Dan throws himself into Phil's arms, wrapping his arms around his neck and pressing his face in his shoulder. Phil smiles to himself, putting his own arms around Dan's waist, nuzzling his face into the crook of Dan's neck. The two stayed like that for a minute, before the stove started beeping, signalling the garlic bread and ravioli was done. 

They break apart, only to hear the doorbell ring. Phil watches as Dan's face turns into worry, hurriedly going to plate the food, taking the plates of ravioli and salad to the dining table, and rushing to go check on Rosalie, all while Phil walked over to the door to open it. 

"Hi guys," Phil greets, letting Jackie and his dad walk into their house. 

"You weren't lying when you said it was cute," Jackie jokes, giving her son a hug, "Where is he?" 

"Hiding," Phil says 

"Dan! Don't hide from us!" Jackie calls, and Phil can hear a door shut and Dan's timid footsteps head towards them. 

Dan appears in the hallway, staring at his feet. Phil feels bad, because he knows Dan is afraid his parents will hate him. Jackie looks at Dan sadly, walking right up to him and wrapping him in her arms, taking in his much taller frame. Dan cracks, and starts crying, hugging her just as tightly, "I'm so sorry," He whimpers 

"Ssh, it's alright. We aren't mad at you, darling. We were just confused," Jackie coos lovingly, loving Dan just as much as she loves Phil. 

Dan cries for a bit, and Phil can feel his heart breaking as he hears the sounds of Dan's whimpers. A hand covers his shoulder, and he sees his dad looking at him, nodding his head towards the kitchen. The two make their way in the dimly lit kitchen. 

"Are you two back together?" Tom asks curiously 

"No, not yet," 

"Yet?" Tom cocks his eyebrow 

"We wanted to start fresh. Take it slow again," Phil explains 

"So everything is alright between ya'll?" 

"Yes, we're more than okay." Phil just wants to tell him right then and there he's a grandpa, but he knows he has to wait on Dan. 

Speaking of Dan, Jackie and Dan followed us into the kitchen, Dan's eyes rimmed red from tears, and Jackie's cheeks wet as she had shed some of her own tears.

"Dinner is on the table, Dan made it," Phil breaks the silence, motioning towards the dining table.

The four made their way there, taking a seat. Dan and Phil wait on Phil's parents to eat first, as Phil knew Dan loved watching people eat his food for the gratitude. 

"Dan, when did you learn to cook like this?" Jackie asks, "This is amazing!"

"I learned after I got bored of having no hobby," Dan laughs 

As they all eat and mingle, Dan and Phil wait for the right time to tell them about Rosalie. Dan glances at Phil, nodding, signalling it was time. 

"Mum, Dad, I have something to tell you," Phil starts

"The reason I left is because I was pregnant," Dan admits, and Phil watches as his parents stare at the two in disbelief

"What the hell?" Jackie asks

"Dan and I have a baby, Mum." Phil says, jumping to Dan's aid

"How?" Tom asks 

"I'm a carrier. I have all the functioning female organs, minus one part. I can carry, conceive, and deliver my own children," Dan explains, like clockwork

"We're grandparents?" Jackie asks quietly

"Yes, you are," 

Jackie breaks out in happy cries, running to hug the boys, his dad following suit, minus the tears. 

"And with that, there's somebody you two need to meet," Phil starts 

"He's here?" Jackie asks

"She's here," Dan corrects, excusing himself to go grab Rosalie. He opens the door to her nursery slowly, noticing she's already awake and kicking her legs. He smiles at his baby, picking her up, "There's some important people who need to meet you, lovebug," Dan says quietly

Rosalie gurgles, and Dan exits her nursery and makes his way to the living room, where Phil and his parents had moved to make it easier for the baby. Jackie bursts into tears as her eyes land on the precious baby in Dan's arms, and she gets up to take her from Dan. 

"Oh my god, boys, she is absolutely beautiful," Jackie says, "Hi honey, I'm your grandma," 

"What's her name?" Tom asks, looking at Rosalie from above Jackie's shoulder, his eyes watering.

"Her name is Rosalie Michelle, and she's named after Phil," Dan says proudly, sitting back down beside Phil, Phil wrapping his arm comfortingly around Dan. 

"Oh hello there, Rosalie!" Tom says. 

And in that very moment, Phil knew everything was finally alright in his world.


	7. six - feral hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smut warning. bye.

Dan was away at work, and Phil again was left bored at their home. Rosalie was sleeping soundly on Phil's bare chest, Dan convincing him that kangaroo time was a good thing for her. Phil didn't understand why, but Dan did have that maternal instinct. 

Phil was tired of watching the TV, even though the two had Hulu and Netflix to choose from, plus a few premium channels. Twitter was boring, even though he constantly got questions about Dan and if we still were together. 

Phil hadn't talked to Dan about coming clean, and telling the internet about Rosalie and that while they aren't back together, they have a future together. Phil still loves Dan with his whole heart, and right now a relationship isn't wise, but they both secretly wanted back together. 

Now that Phil thought about it, Rosalie had never been outside of their house since she was born. And Dan had given him permission to take her to Phil's parents house, so that means he can go see him at work, right? 

Phil carefully got up, slowly waking up Rosalie, who just whimpered and grabbed a handful of his hair when he placed her on his shoulder. He headed into her room, grabbing a new diaper, a onesie, and some shoes. He decided last minute to put her in a hat, in case it was cold outside for her little head. 

Dan had installed a car-seat in Phil's car for him, so Phil carefully buckled her up, making sure she was good and tight before jumping into the drivers seat. He starts the car, listening to it purr to life, putting it in reverse and exiting their driveway, making his way to Dan's coffee shop.

It was a ten minute trip, before he saw Dan's beat up Volkswagen Beetle parked in front of a cute little coffee shop. He parked beside Dan's car, unbuckling Rosalie and locking his car. He turns Rosalie to face the shop as he opens the door, hearing a bell above him jingle.

"Hi! Welcome to Betty's!" Phil hears Dan's voice call, and watches as he appears from the back area, a huge grin on his face as he spots Phil and Rosalie, "Is that my baby?" He coos

"Wow, only happy to see her, I see," Phil fake pouts, making a sad face.

Dan laughs fondly, beckoning them towards the counter, "Don't be silly. I'm happy to see you too." Dan grabs one of Rosalie's hands, a gurgle escaping her mouth as she realizes Dan is there, "Hi baby!" 

"I got bored, and I figured Rosalie deserved to see her Daddy hard at work," Phil says, sitting down at the counter, Rosalie in his lap, leaning against his chest. 

"That's nice. But aren't you worried?" Dan asks quietly

"Of?" Phil questions

"Of your fans seeing you here with me, with a baby," Dan whispers

Phil shrugs, "Not really. We'll have to tell them eventually, and I'm not ashamed of you or her," 

Phil swears Dan blushed before he looked away, "Do we have too?" 

"Do you not want them to know? You know the internet is already questioning your whereabouts as is, what do you think they'll think if they see us with a baby?" 

"I'm scared, is all." Dan admits

Phil puts a hand on Dan's, smiling at him, "Don't be. You've got me, I'll protect you," 

Dan blushes this time, and leans into kiss Phil's cheek. But Phil has other ideas, and turns his head, so his lips land on his. Dan pulls away in shock, and Phil stares at him with a smirk, and Dan laughs.

"Always a romantic. You hungry?" Dan asks 

 

~~

 

Phil stays at Betty's until the end of Dan's shift, which meant he sat there and watched Dan work for five hours. And he was complaining, it was interesting to watch Dan work in such a different environment. The boy he knew before would never step foot to work as a barista, as it involved human contact. The boy he knew was an introvert, and that's why he adapted to working on YouTube and only doing human contact when he wanted too. 

Phil again was proud of Dan. 

After Dan's shift, Phil was introduced to Betty, the shop's owner, and Barbara, Betty's partner. Dan introduced Phil as Rosalie's father, but didn't call him a boyfriend. He knew Betty was confused, because she knew they were living together, but she kept her mouth shut. 

They drove back to their house in their respective cars, Rosalie tuckered out in Phil's backseat. He smiled to himself, Dan's little Beetle trailing behind them. Phil turns on their street, and parks in the driveway, Dan pulling in beside him. 

"I don't feel like cooking, so how does pizza sound?" Dan asks when they enter the house, dropping their keys into the bowl by the front door.

"Pizza always sounds good," Phil laughs, "I'm gonna put her to bed," 

Dan plants a kiss on Rosalie's head, telling her he loves her and goodnight, before disappearing to call for pizza.

 

~~

 

"You know, the fans miss you," Phil says as the two lay in bed, curled up in each other's arms.

"I know they do. I miss them too. But I can't go back," Dan says sadly

"Why can't you?" 

"They'll all hate me, and they won't be as accepting as you about Rosalie and why I left. I don't want to be shamed. Our friends don't even know about her," Phil hears the tears in Dan voice, and he holds him tighter, "They won't understand, they'll hate her," 

"They won't hate either of you. Rosalie is just more proof that we truly were together and happy," Phil sighs

"Were happy. Past-tense, Phil. We aren't that happy couple anymore, because I went and fucked everything up," Dan whimpers, sniffling 

"I am happy. I'm happy to be here with you right now," Phil says 

"But you aren't as happy as you used to be," Dan says, looking up at Phil, "You aren't my Phil anymore," 

"I'll always be yours, Dan, why do you think otherwise?" 

"Because I broke your fucking heart and ran away when I got scared." Dan whispers angrily 

"Yes, you hurt me. But you had reasoning. I know and understand why you ran. I'm not mad at you anymore, I still love you," Phil runs his fingers through Dan's hair 

"Then why can't we be together? Why can't you hold me the way you used too? Why can't you kiss me the way you used too? Why can't you touch me anymore?" Dan is sobbing by this point, and Phil just picks him up, and makes Dan stare at him. 

Without speaking, Phil pulls Dan towards him, kissing him with so much passion Dan almost melted. Dan immediately responds, wrapping his arms around Phil's neck, climbing into his lap and whimpering into his mouth. Phil presses against Dan's hips, his arms snaking around Dan's waist. Dan grinds against Phil, Phil responding with a breathy moan.

"Dan, is this what you want?" Phil asks 

"Please, please," Dan begs, "Please love me," 

"I've always loved you," 

Dan responds with a growl against Phil's neck, pressing kisses down the smooth skin. Phil sighs, laying his head back to give Dan more access. Phil runs his hands under Dan's shirt, and Dan gasps at the sensation of his fingernails scraping against his back. Dan continues grinding against Phil, feeling his hard-on in his pajama pants dragging against Dan's ass. 

Phil flips them so Dan is underneath him, kissing his tan neck and feeling Dan writhe under his hips. Dan basically rips Phil's shirt off him, throwing it across the room. Dan pulls away from Phil, looking at his pale skin, reflected by the moonlight. He's more toned than before, but god, was he just as beautiful.

"You're still so beautiful, Phil," Dan whispers, looking back into Phil's eyes, seeing his bright blue eyes darkened with lust. 

Phil kisses Dan again, going to pull up Dan's shirt, before Dan stops him, "No, I'm hideous," He whispers 

Phil stares at Dan, shaking his head. Dan closes his eyes as he feels his shirt get removed, refusing to look Phil in the eyes. Phil's eyes rake over Dan's chest and stomach, seeing little stretch marks splayed across Dan's lower stomach and hips. Dan has a tiny pouch of skin from when he was carrying Rosalie just three months ago, and Phil sighs.

"You're still as beautiful as the day I met you, Dan." Phil kisses down Dan's chest, specifically kissing his marks, knowing that was the reason of Dan's insecurity. 

Phil unties Dan's pajama pants, slowly tugging them down to reveal Dan's boxers, kissing his member through his underwear. Dan gasps and bucks his hips, as he hasn't been touched in almost a year. Dan moans loudly as Phil's removes his underwear, his member bobbing on his stomach. Dan feels Phil's wet mouth on him, and he grabs a handful of Phil's black locks as he feels him go all the way.

"Fuck, Phil," Dan writhes, moaning in such pleasure Phil could've came right then. 

Phil blows him for a bit more, before he wets his fingers and travels to Dan's entrance, slowly pushing a digit in. Dan groans in pain, Phil slowly pumping in and out of him. Phil pulls off of Dan's cock, pressing his lips as he adds a second finger, going knuckles deep. Dan all but screams when Phil's fingertips nudge his prostate, crying to himself. 

"God Phil, fuck," Dan moans into Phil's mouth. 

"Do you think you're ready?" Phil asks, looking into Dan's eyes for consent.

"Yes, I'm ready. I have lube and condoms in the bedside drawer," Dan admits, Phil chuckling.

Phil grabs a condom and lubes himself up, throwing his pajama bottoms to the floor. He climbs between Dan's legs, lining himself up with his entrance. Dan feels his head poking against him, and he nods at Phil as Phil pushes in slowly. 

Phil watches as Dan's face contorts in pain, his hands gripping Phil's waist. Phil bottoms out slowly, before Dan tells him to move. He moves until he's almost out, and thrusts in, Dan letting out a groan. 

"Fuck, you're tighter than before," Phil says huskily

"Haven't touched myself since Rosalie was born," Dan moans 

Phil thrusts into Dan, pressing kisses to Dan's neck as Dan moans loudly, his moans echoing the room. Dan wraps his legs around Phil's waist, drawing him in closer, causing Phil to nail Dan's prostate, Dan wailing in pleasure.

"Harder," Dan demands

Phil picks up the pace, feeling Dan's warm walls tighten as Dan starts breathing heavier, moaning a stream of pleasure. Phil grows close, and he goes as fast and hard as he physically can, causing Dan to scream. 

"I'm gonna cum," Dan announces

"Go," Phil demands, feeling the tight walls clamp down around him, and the two both blow their loads with collective groans and moans. 

Phil stays inside Dan until he finishes his high, pulling out and collapsing beside Dan. Dan's breathing heavily beside him, and Phil tosses the condom into the trashcan in the room. Dan turns to curl against Phil, pressing his nose into the crook of Phil's neck.

"I love you," Dan whispers tiredly

"I love you so much more, Bear," Phil says, before the two fall into a deep sleep.


	8. eight - friends forever

Ever since Phil posted on twitter about Rosalie, Phil's phone was blowing up with texts from his friends, asking what the actual hell was going on. Although he really wanted to tell everyone, he knew Dan was still afraid of anyone knowing, and he couldn't betray what Dan wanted. 

So he never answered the texts, and simply just said, "I have a daughter, that's all you really need to know." Which just confused everyone more. but Phil didn't care. One day he'd tell everyone the truth, but that day just wasn't soon. 

But what he truly did expect was for his friends to show up at his old flat, only to be told he no longer lived there and moved out. 

"When the hell did you move?" PJ asks, confused and a little upset

"Three months ago, I just forgot to mention it," Phil explains

"You don't just forget to mention that, you're hiding something," PJ accuses, and Phil knows he's right, and he's slowly cracking under pressure.

"It doesn't matter what I'm hiding or not, PJ." 

"Yes it does! You go completely quiet after you posted that tweet about Dan, and suddenly you're back with a baby? You had us thinking something bad happened to you!" Pj's upset, and Phil can hear it in his voice, with the way it quivers

"I'm okay, Peej. I'm okay, I promise you." 

"Are we just not good friends anymore where you can't tell me things?" PJ sniffles 

Phil's heart pangs, "Pj, please let me call you back." 

After they hang up, Phil makes his way to Dan's room, where he's playing on his phone. Dan glances up at Phil from the bed, immediately frowning when he notices the tears in Phil's eyes. He throws his phone to the side and races to Phil, grabbing his hands, "What's wrong?" 

"It's PJ, he went to our old apartment looking for me, and he's mad." Phil explains, "He's really hurt, Dan. I can't keep lying to him," 

Dan's heart cracks, and he wraps Phil in his arms, letting Phil cry into his shoulder. His stomach is gnawing at him in sadness, because he's the one to blame for Phil's troubles, once again. He can't keep expecting Phil to keep everything a secret, especially with the internet knowing about their daughter. 

"Was he alone?" Dan asks after a moment

"No, Chris was with him, and Louise was on the way with the spare key before a neighbor showed up." Phil sniffles, lifting his face from Dan's shoulder 

"Tell them to come here. I can't make you keep hiding from them. You're important to them, and they deserve to know Rosalie, regardless of how they feel about me," Dan says, feeling Phil staring at him in shock. 

"Dan, you can't be serious," 

"I am. I'll even leave for the night if I need too. Get your friends back, Phil." 

"You aren't leaving your own house, and I'm not letting you get scared out of your own home. They're your friends too, Dan." Phil retorts, shaking his head 

"They're angry with me, and they have every right to be. I broke you, Phil. I left you. They had to pick up the broken pieces I left behind. I don't want to be here for them to scream at me. I don't want to put Rosalie in that position to be around screaming adults. And I don't want you caught in the middle of it, either." Dan explains, feeling his eyes water as Phil stares at him with a broken expression

"Dan, baby, stop blaming everything on yourself. This was on me too. I made you feel like a baby would've ruined my career, I made you want to leave. I'm not angry anymore, I'm so happy with you being back. Yes, they did have to fix me up afterwards, but that was just them being friends. Sure, they were a little angry and confused, but they've never said anything bad about you. Chris just wishes you would've talked to him before you left, that way at least someone knew you were safe," Phil counter-explains

"Just invite them here, Phil. I'll stay in our room until you tell me it's okay to come out. But, can you please make sure I'm there when they meet Rosalie?" Dan asks quietly

"Do you not trust them?" Phil asks 

"No, that's not it. She's just my baby and I'm weird about others holding her. I want to make sure they're holding her properly so they don't hurt her neck. I just want her safe," Dan explains, and Phil smiles fondly at Dan's mothering side popping out. 

"Yes, I'll make sure you're the one to bring her out to them," Phil promises, kissing Dan's forehead, "Thank you, Dan," 

 

~~

 

"I can get Chris and Louise to come with, but why are you being so shady about this?" PJ asks Phil, as the two are on the phone, Phil planning for them to come over. 

"I don't want you to come angry," Phil responds

"What do you mean? Are you worried we won't like your baby's mother?" PJ asks 

Phil physically cringes at PJ's mention of a female mother, and he sees Dan wince in sadness, because Dan's a rarity of being a carrier, "No, that's not what I'm worried about. You'll love..." Phil glances at Dan, who nods sadly, "Her. She's great, PJ." 

"Does she make you happy, Phil?" PJ asks sincerely 

"She makes me the happiest person alive." Phil's smiling at Dan, who's cheeks turn a rosy shade, his dimples protruding from his face as he smiles

"Is she better than Dan, Phil?" 

"No, nobody would ever be better than my Dan. Nobody could ever replace what we had, regardless of the situation we're in," Phil says, watching Dan's face start to fall, "Dan will always be my first love, and that will never change in my heart." 

PJ sighs understandingly, "As long as you're happy, Phil. We'll be over as soon as we can, alright?" 

"See you then," 

"Why does he assume she's a girl?" Dan asks after the phone goes dead

Phil sighs, sitting down beside Dan, pulling him into his arms, "You know that's the first thought everything is going to have," 

"But haven't they seen the rumors online?" Dan asks again

"I don't know, they were never really into reading into our rumors. They always knew the truth behind closed doors," 

"I just hope this is something they can accept," 

 

~~

 

Thirty minutes later, the doorbell rings, and Dan gulps loudly, looking at Phil, "I'll be in my room." 

Phil kisses Dan reassuringly, before letting him disappear up the stairs. Phil wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, going towards the wooden door, where his friends await him. With a deep breath, he opens the door, looking to see Chris, PJ, and Louise there, staring at him. 

Louise bursts into tears, jumping into Phil's arms, crying into his shoulder, "Phil, oh my god, it's been so long," 

Phil hugs her back, rubbing her shoulders, "I know, come in, guys," 

Pj and Chris make their way in behind Louise, who's tearfully looking around the house, "This place is cute, more spacier than the flat," She says 

"Needed a bigger space for the baby," Phil responds, staring at his shoes 

"You've got some explaining to do, Phil," Chris says, and Phil finally looks up to meet his eyes

"Sit down, get comfortable. It's going to be a while," 

"What the hell happened to you, Phil? It's been three months before anyone hears from you, and then you reappear with a baby?" PJ asks, confused written on his features

"To be fair, I didn't know about her until two months ago," Phil admits, although not maliciously 

"How old is she, Phil?" Louise asks

"Three months old. She was a month when I met her," 

"So that means she was conceived around the time Dan left," Louise says quietly, before staring at Phil in anger, "Did you cheat on Dan? Is that why he left?" She accuses 

"No, no! I would never cheat on Dan, Louise. He was my whole world," Phil hated talking about Dan in the past-tense, but he had too for now 

"Then what the fuck does this all mean?" Louise asks, "Here I was angry at Dan for leaving, when in reality, it could've been all you!" 

"Lou, calm down," Chris says soothingly

"I didn't cheat on Dan, and there's more of an explanation, but would you excuse me for a second?" Phil asks 

"Better make it quick," Louise grumbles

Phil almost darts up the stairs, going to his room and finding Dan on the bed, his knee shaking anxiously. Dan looks at Phil, getting to his feet and coming towards him, "I heard Louise. Please let me come down," Dan pleads

"That's why I'm here, but I need to make sure you're ready for this," 

Dan just kisses Phil deeply, before grabbing his hand and making his way back down the stairs, taking a deep breath just outside of the living room opening, stepping in. He hears the audible gasps coming from his friends, and looks up to see them gaping at him.

"Dan?" Louise whimpers, tears dribbling down her face 

"Lou," Dan whimpers back, his eyes welling with tears as she comes running towards him, hugging him so tight Dan almost can't breathe. 

"Where the fuck did you go, Dan?" Louise whispers, her voice thick with tears 

"I had to leave," Dan responds, his eyes meeting Phil's, which are filled with tears 

"No you didn't. You never have to leave," Louise sobs

Dan hears footsteps, and he sees Chris approaching him, tears streaming down his face as Louise lets him go, Dan collapsing into Chris' arms, as he was the closest to the boy. Chris breaks into sobs, squeezing Dan. 

"Do you know how fucking worried I've been about you, you fucker?" Chris laughs 

"I've missed you so much," Dan cries 

"Dan," PJ says quietly, his green eyes almost blue with sadness

"Oh Peej," Dan says, hugging the boy tightly 

"Okay, enough hugs, someone better explain why Dan is back after a year of silence," Louise says seriously, wiping her face of tears 

After the five sit down on the couches, Dan sighs, "Okay, so, I had a reason as to why I left a year ago." Dan starts, "As you know, Phil has told the world he has a daughter, correct?" Dan says

Louise glares at Phil, "So I was right," 

"No, Lou, he didn't have a baby with anyone else. Phil would never do that to me," Dan retorts quickly, watching Phil's face fall

"Then who did he have a baby with, Dan? None of this makes sense," Pj scoffs

"He had a baby with me, dammit," Dan blurts

Louise blinks, "What?" 

"I found out I was a carrier when I was fourteen, a few years before I met Phil. And I never told him, because we were always safe, and I was on suppressants. I didn't think it was relevant to tell him I had a functioning uterus, because I figured we'd adopt and I'd never have to deal with a pregnancy. But I got pregnant after missing a dosage, and we gave up on condoms a few months before I found out." Dan explains 

"Although he knows if he had told me, we would've had children probably three years ago," Phil butts in, Dan rolling his eyes 

"I've heard about this, but I just never knew it was true," Chris says after a moment of quiet, as Dan and Phil watch their friends absorb the newfound information 

"It's very true, and very real." 

"Then why leave, Dan?" Pj asks, "You destroyed him, Dan," 

"I know what I did was wrong, and very selfish. But I didn't want to ruin his career, and he was about to go on tour, and a baby would've cut it short and he would've had to take months off to prepare with me. It wouldn't be fair to him, so I made the decision to just leave, and never come back. I got away with it until a month after she was born, when Phil called my mom and she ratted me out. Then he showed up here, yelled at me, and then he met her," Dan explains further, "And he's been here for her ever since," 

"So this is your house? How did you afford this, Dan?" Chris asks

"I work at a coffee shop up the road. I got a job there after I moved back in with my parents, when I was a few months along. I saved up, and worked there until the day before I gave birth. I had an apartment before, but it was just too small and expensive for what it was." 

"I'm still stuck on your ability to have children, Dan. How did you even give birth? Did you have a c-section?" Pj asks 

"No, Peej. My colon acts like a birth canal, so I delivered her anally." Dan laughs 

"Jesus fucking Christ," Pj whispers to himself, Louise bursting into laughter at his face

"Finally a man who truly understands childbirth!" Louise jokes

"You have no idea," Dan laughs 

"With all that being said, would you guys like to meet her?" Phil asks 

 

~~

 

to be continued bc i'm tired and my fingers hurt from typing lmao bye


	9. nine - embrace

(switching it up today and doing POV's. fight me.)

 

(Dan's POV)

 

"Would you guys like to meet her?" Phil asks, wrapping his arm around my waist, his hand cupping my hip

I see Louise eye Phil's hand suspiciously, and I know we still aren't in the clear. Chris and PJ are all smiles as soon as Phil mentions Rosalie, and they're nodding their heads expectantly. I laugh at their eagerness to meet the baby, looking at Louise, who nods with them.

"I'll go get her," I say, feeling Phil's hand leave my waist as I back out of the room, going up the stairs and to my right, where Rosalie's room is located. 

I twist the doorknob, immediately hearing the music from Rosalie's mobile playing, and her breathing. I close the door quietly, in case she's napping, but I find her staring at the mobile in wonder, her eyes wide. Her eyes flicker towards me, and she lights up as she gurgles, kicking her legs.

"Hi baby!" I coo, "We've got some people for you to meet, and they're so excited to see you!" 

I reach down into her crib, my hands cradling her from underneath as I lift her up, laying her against my chest. I changed her diaper quickly to avoid any accidents, before changing her into a Winnie the Pooh onesie Phil's mum recently bought her, before declaring she was ready to meet everyone. 

After shutting the door behind me, I shift Rosalie in my arms, so our friends can see her pretty face easier. I talk quietly to her as I make my way into the living room, hearing the collective coos as soon as we're in the room. 

"Oh Dan," Louise blubbers, her eyes filling once again with tears

"This is Rosalie Michelle, everyone," I state, "Say hi baby," I whisper to her, grabbing her little hand and softly waving it at our friends 

Louise is the first to come see her up close, covering her face in astonishment, "You weren't lying. That's literally you two," Louise says, looking up at me, "She's so beautiful, Dan," 

I beam at the compliment, my eyes finding Phil's, who's staring just as proudly at us, "Dan did all the hard work, he deserves all the credit in making her so cute," 

I roll my eyes, shifting to face Chris and PJ, who are cautiously standing away, looking from afar, "You guys can come closer, you know. She doesn't bite, she has no teeth," I joke 

Pj laughs at my remark, "I don't want to hover over her. Don't want to freak her out,"

"You won't, trust me. She loves people," Phil replies

I take matters into my own hands, walking straight towards them. I stop in front of them both, their eyes immediately downcasting towards Rosalie. She stares at them with wonder, her fist in her mouth. Chris is the first to break, wet tears falling down his face. Chris looks at me, a look of proudness in his eyes.

"God Dan, you are so amazing. You literally went and made a little human. Oh my god," Chris mutters, at a loss of words

Pj is still quiet, but as soon as he reaches out to Rosalie, and she latches onto his slender finger with a tiny grip, his green orbs are overrun with tears. Rosalie senses his sadness, and grips his fingers tighter, almost bringing him towards her, as if she could really do any comfort for him. Chris rubs PJ's back as he lets the tears fall, laughing at himself. 

"So much crying today Jesus," Louise jokes, black tear marks from her mascara down her face. 

"I'm just in shock," Pj says finally, "Like, this is unbelievable." 

"It's a lot to take in, I understand. When I found out, I literally fell to the ground and just sat there for ten minutes just thinking, 'what just happened?'" Phil says

"You weren't the one who found out I was literally going to have to push a baby out in nine months," I laugh jokingly, everyone joining in 

"Don't I know that feeling," Louise adds

 

~~

 

As PJ and Chris coo over Rosalie, who's nestled in Chris' arms, Louise pulls me into the kitchen, and I brace myself for the conversation coming. We take a seat at the dining table, and she takes my hands into hers. 

"Why didn't you reach out to me?" Louise asks

"I didn't want anyone to know, I didn't want to run the risk of Phil finding out. I couldn't let him find out, because I knew he'd weasel himself back in," 

"I wouldn't have told him, you know that," Louise sighs 

"I didn't need that risk, no matter how much I really needed help. You were so close with Phil, you could've accidentally slipped up and mentioned us. There were so many nights I wanted to call you to ask pregnancy questions, because besides my mom, there wasn't anyone else around me with childcare experience." I admit

Louise smiles at that, "I would've told you childbirth sucks," 

"And how right you were. That was some of the worst pain I ever experienced. Who knew that would hurt so badly?" I joke, Louise laughing at me

"Did you get an epidural?" She asks 

"I did, but by the time I had to push, it hadn't kicked in, and I felt everything. But as soon as she was out, I was numb from the waist down, so there's that." 

Louise winces, "I couldn't imagine feeling that," 

"I had no choice. She was coming whether I liked it or not," 

"Were you alone?" She asks

"No, my mum and dad were there, and Adrian was there for a bit, but when I needed to push, I did that alone. My mum really wanted to be there, but I didn't want her seeing me like that, and the only other person I really wanted there was Phil, but I couldn't have that. So it was just me and the doctors," 

"God Dan, you literally could've called any of us, and we would've been there in a heartbeat," 

"I was better off alone with this. It made it hurt less than having everyone look at me in disappointment," I admit

"Nobody's disappointed in you, Dan. We were angry at first, but we understand. We do. We still love you, and I'll never stop caring about you," Louise says, and I start to cry, Louise dragging me into her arms

"I'm here now, and I plan to stick around. Darcy's going to love having another girl around, and Pearl's gonna have a best friend around her age now," 

"Oh god, congrats on Pearl! I was secretly watching your updates and vlogs during my pregnancy. It was nice to have updates on you," 

"We should probably go check on the guys, don't want to find out they've died from Rosalie's cuteness," Louise jokes

We get to our feet, and find Chris and Pj conversing with Phil, Rosalie fast asleep in PJ's arms. They look back at us, and Phil immediately notices my redden face from crying, his face contorting with worry. 

"Don't worry, loverboy. He's okay," Louise teases, noticing Phil's small glare 

"Okay, can we talk about the elephant in the room?" Chris asks as soon as I take a seat beside Phil, and he wraps his arm around me

"What would that be?" I play dumb, cocking my head

"Are you two knuckleheads back together?" Chris asks, his tone demanding, as he was a huge supporter of our relationship when we came out to them

"Yes, we are," Phil says without a fault, "It feels like we never broke up, so we decided to get back together." 

"Finally!" Chris yelps 

"I'm just really glad you guys found each other again, I don't think I could've imagined you two with anyone else after 10 years," Pj says, his voice soft so he doesn't wake up Rosalie

"I don't want to see them with anyone else," Louise adds, "It can't be Dan and Phil without Dan and Phil," 

"Well don't worry, we don't plan on being with anyone else." I respond, "Especially now with Rosalie, we have a family to keep together," 

"Dan, are you ever going to come back to YouTube and social media? There's so many people who miss you," Chris asks

"I really don't know. I've focused so much of my life on Rosalie, that now I don't see myself doing anything else except being her father and working at the coffee shop. Sure, I'd love to film again, but the fans won't be so accepting of our newfound situation, and I don't want to risk putting anyone in danger or causing any hate to be thrown around. As for social media, I'm still on it, but everything is private and I mostly use fake accounts to check up on things." 

"Well, if you ever come back, you two should make a gaming channel," 

 

 

~~

 

yay to longer chapters. yay to having motivation to write again. enjoy.


	10. ten - a thousand years

*five months later; age 8 months* 

 

These past few months have been very eventful for Dan and Phil. Christmas and New Years came faster than expected, and Rosalie had only been getting bigger and socialized. Louise was at the house at least once a week, helping the boys whenever they needed a break. PJ, Sophie, and Chris visited as much as possible, and Felix and Marzia had came to visit and meet Rosalie, and Dan finally felt at peace. 

But Dan was sad. His little baby wasn't such a small baby anymore. Rosalie was able to roll over onto her stomach from her back, and she was able to hold up her bottles, as Dan stopped breastfeeding when she was 6 months. She was playing with her toys more often, and babbling like there was no tomorrow. 

Dan felt useless at times. She didn't need him as often. Sure, he had to change her diapers and bathe her, but she was able to do more than before. And she was growing too fast, and Dan loathed the day when she wouldn't need him anymore. That day would be the hardest, because he'd have to prepare to let her go on her own someday. 

"Dan, why are you crying?" Phil asks sleepily from beside the brunette

Dan didn't even realize he was crying, and wiped under his eyes to feel the wetness, "I didn't even know I was," Dan responds

He feels Phil push against his back, wrapping his arms around him. Dan looks back at Phil, who's looking at him with confused eyes, "What's wrong? What were you thinking about?" 

"Rosalie doesn't need me anymore," Dan says quietly, and now he feels the tears well in his eyes 

"Yes she does, why do you think that?" Phil sits up now, alerted by Dan's sadness

"I barely do anything for her anymore. And one day she'll realize she doesn't need her dad anymore, and she'll leave. I'm so scared of losing her," Dan whimpers

"Dan, you're overthinking. She does need you, she'll always need you. Just because you don't have to do everything for her anymore, doesn't mean she doesn't need you. Who's gonna be there to catch her when she falls from taking her first steps? You will be. Who's gonna be the one to walk her to her first day of school? You. Who's gonna be the one to console her whenever she gets hurt, and has her first heartbreak? You will. You'll be there for her in other ways than you'd imagine. She will always need you," Phil explains thoughtfully, and Dan is so happy to have fallen for someone so loving. 

"I don't deserve you," Dan says 

"You do, and one day you'll realize that. Now come on, its 7:30, go back to sleep." Phil says, nuzzling into Dan's back, tightening his grip as he breathing becomes even. 

 

~~

 

After Dan's episode, Phil had been planning a surprise for Dan. After getting Dan's mum to agree to watch Rosalie for the weekend, Phil had been secretly talking to Dan's boss, who gave him the weekend off. Dan thought it was odd since he normally always worked weekends when he saw the schedule, but didn't question it. 

Phil booked the two a hotel that wasn't too far from the house, and made reservations at one of Dan's old favorite restaurants. It'd been a while since the two had gone, and he knew Dan would love it. Phil just didn't know how Dan would take being away from Rosalie for that long. Dan refused to let her out of his sight recently, and Phil knows it's because of how Dan's been feeling lately. 

It was Friday, and Dan's mum was due to come and pick Rosalie up before Dan finished his shift at 5pm. Phil had spent the day packing their suitcases, and packing Rosalie's belongings for her weekend with grandma. He was nervous, because he really didn't want Dan to be upset that he did all this behind his back. But truthfully, he knew Dan would've never gone through with it had Phil told him. 

The doorbell disturbs Phil's anxious thoughts, and he makes his way to the front door, where he finds Dan's mum waiting. She smiles and gives him a hug, and walks in the house, "So Dan still doesn't know?"

"No, I've managed to keep this secret. I'm just afraid," Phil admits as Teresa grabs Rosalie from her bouncer that was sat in the living room

"What're you afraid of?" She asks, cooing at Rosalie

"Dan's barely letting Rosalie out of his sight because he's afraid she'll stop needing him. And I don't know how he'll react to having her gone for two days." 

Teresa sighs knowingly, "He's just going through something all mothers do. It's normal, and it's something he will overcome. Trust me, when Dan was one, I barely let him do anything. I was just scared he'd stop wanting me around. But children always need their parents, regardless if you have to clean their bottoms or not." She responds, trying to soothe Phil's worries

Phil nods, "I just hope he enjoys this weekend." 

"He will. He deserves a break just as much as you do. He'll enjoy every second," She offers him a kind smile, "Is everything ready for Rosalie to go?" 

Phil nods, motioning to her diaper bag and tiny suitcase, "Yes, there should be enough clothes and diapers to last her. I've got some of Dan's milk in a cooler in the suitcase, and some formula if you run out," 

"Look at you all prepared. Such a dad," She laughs, "I guess we'll be off. Dan should be home shortly," 

After telling Rosalie bye, he walks Teresa out and waits for Dan's arrival. 

 

~~

 

"Phil, I'm home!" Dan calls, setting his keys in the ceramic bowl by the front door

"Hi love, I'm in the kitchen," Phil responds

Dan makes his way to the kitchen, expecting Phil to just be making cereal, but is surprised to find him dressed nicely with three suitcases. He stops in his tracks, his heart riddled with fear, "Phil...what's going on? Are you leaving me?" He whispers

Phil's face is stricken with horror, "No! No, no, never. These suitcases are for us." Phil quickly responds

"What do you mean?" Dan asks, cocking his head in confusion

"This weekend, we're going on a little trip. I've got us a hotel booked until Sunday, and we're going to dinner Saturday night. We leave for the hotel tonight," Phil explains

"But what about Rosalie? Where is Rosalie?" Dan asks, his body becoming filled with fear

"She's with your mum. I had this all planned," Phil starts, before Dan cuts him off. 

"Is that why I have the weekend off of work?" Dan asks suspiciously 

"Yes, indeed it is," Phil laughs, "Talked to Betty and Barbara and they were more than happy to do it," 

"Phil...why are you doing this?" Dan asks, although he's not complaining. He's just surprised.

Phil takes a step towards Dan and grabs his hands, rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles, "Because you deserve this. You've been stressing, and you've had no time to breathe or be with just yourself. We haven't gotten any time together and I think it's what we need. It's what you need," Phil explains, "But if you don't want too, I can cancel the hotel reservations--" 

Dan cuts Phil off with a kiss, before pulling away, "Of course I want to go, you idiot," Dan laughs, "When do we leave?" 

"Well, right now, if you'd like." 

 

~~

 

"Reservations for Lester," Phil tells the hotel concierge, who smiles at him and clicks away at her computer for his reservations. 

"Ah, the honeymoon suite. Perfect choice." She says, giving Phil two plastic door keys, "Checkout is by noon, and breakfast is from 6am to 11am in the dining hall. Enjoy your stay," She smiles at the two boys

Dan's all smiles as they take the elevator to their suite, and Phil is fondly staring at him, "You're truly adorable," Phil says, making Dan blush and lean over to press their lips together 

After the elevator dings, alerting them that they're on their correct floor, Phil leads Dan to Room 400, unlocking the door and letting Dan walk in. Phil talked with the hotel, and had it decked out for a "Romantic Getaway." It cost a pretty penny, but Dan is worth every cent. 

The bed is covered in rose petals, two bottles of nice champagne sit in a bucket of ice, fresh flowers are placed on their makeshift dining table, and the bathtub is surrounded by candles and rose petals. Dan is gawking at the sight, his eyes filling with tears. 

"Phil...you didn't have to do all of this." Dan whispers, voice quiet from the shock

Phil drops their suitcases, wrapping his arms around Dan and pressing his front to Dan's back. He kisses at his neck, "Of course I did. You deserve it," 

Dan whimpers weakly at the touch, dropping his phone onto the TV stand, turning around and pulling Phil into a deep kiss. Dan knots his fingers in Phil's hair, Phil grunting at the tug. Phil pulls Dan closer, gripping Dan's shirt. 

Phil pushes Dan onto the rose-covered bed, tearing off his shirt and Dan's, kissing down Dan's golden chest, nipping at his right nipple as his hand finds Dan's growing erection. Dan bucks into the touch, moaning loudly. Phil smirks, placing his lips against Dan's ear, "Don't hold back. We don't have to be quiet," 

Dan shivers, unbuckling Phil's belt and tugging at his jeans. Phil shimmies them off, tossing them to the floor, directing his attention back to the brown-haired boy beneath him. Dan's moaning grows as Phil palms him through his jeans, sucking at his neck, leaving bruises behind.

"Phil, off," Dan whimpers, tugging at his own jeans. Phil has them unbuttoned and yanked off in one swift motion, taking his boxers with him. 

"God, you're so beautiful," Phil whispers huskily, taking Dan's cock into his hand and pumping him, staring in awe at Dan's body. 

Dan's moaning out Phil's name, and before he knows it, he's cumming ribbons of white all over his naked chest, groaning at the force. Phil grabs the lube he packed and starts scissoring Dan, stretching him out. Dan sobs out at the sensitivity, fucking himself down onto Phil's fingers. Dan's almost in tears when Phil pulls out, crying at the loss of feeling. 

"Got something better for you," Phil says, lining himself up and pushing in with ease. Dan cries out, his walls stretched around Phil. He's clawing at his back as Phil slowly thrusts into him, pressing more kisses along his neck and jaw, before locking their lips together. 

Phil can feel Dan falling apart beneath him, switching his position to push Dan's legs down, letting him slip in deeper. Dan groans loudly, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his pants get louder and faster. Phil picks up the pace, slamming his hips into Dan, the younger boy yelling out in pleasure. 

Dan cums hard again, his entire body twitching and shaking, tears leaking out from the corners of his eyes. Dan's walls clench around Phil's cock, causing him to cum deep into Dan, groaning loudly, stilling his hips. 

"Oh my god," Dan whispers, once he gets his voice back. 

Phil pulls out, agreeing with Dan silently as he collapses beside him, breathing heavily. Dan gets up slowly to clean himself off, a limp starting to develop. Phil cleans himself up, curling under the blankets and turning the TV on. He picks an old sitcom, Dan joining him in bed, wrapping himself around Phil. 

"I love you so much, Phil," Dan whispers, his voice thick of sleep. 

"I love you, more, Dan," Phil responds, pressing a kiss to Dan's forehead, before they both slip off into a deep sleep.

Phil's last thought is,

"God, I wanna marry this boy," 

~~

 

hello im back from the dead. how is everyone.


End file.
